A BOOK ON U.S. APPLICABLE LAW

Deacon San Nguyen

THE LOVE BETWEEN FATHER AND CHILD

We, Vietnamese, live in a country where Freedom, Democracy, and Human Rights are respected and protected by U.S. Constitution. However, as newcomers, a number of Vietnamese confused with the new life here. There were conflicts between parents and children, husbands and wives just because people confronted cultural shock when they migrated to a cultural environment which was different and unfamiliar from their own. For instance, in Vietnam, people used to teach their children: “First, tradition; second, literature.” Children had to obey their parents completely, no doubt about it. Many decades before 1975, children had to learn by heart the slogan:

“A mountain, fatherhood is.
A deep spring, motherhood is.
We children must believe
Respect them, our duty is.”

This kind of slogan now seemed out of date and could not be applied here anymore. Practically, after we moved in this country, we needed to adapt ourselves with new tradition and culture in order to live well and to avoid problems that might happen to us unexpectedly. Above all, we had to be very cautious about the set of Laws that was established to protect Children from harm. The sad stories below will tell us more about a cultural shock that we need to prevent.

In a crowded city where many Vietnamese people lived, Mr. and Mrs. Phan had two daughters, 15 year old and 13 year old. Knowing that the older daughter often ran away from home at weekends with her boyfriend and came home very late at night, Phan was very angry. He was afraid that his daughter would do something stupid and might be pregnant when she was so young. Thus, he stayed up late waiting for the girl coming home. When seeing her, instead of teaching her with a nice and thorough explanation, he scorned her loudly. Phan threatened her that he would chase her out of his house. One day, while he was still working at his office, Mrs. Phan telephoned him and told him that there were two female Social Workers coming to his house, showing their Identification Cards then taking the two daughters out to a place where only Mrs. Phan could visit. Immediately, Phan hurried home and called his sister who told him that his two daughters were staying at her house. About two hours later, police came to his house, showed him the Court warrant, and took him to jail.

At the jail, an officer informed him that his 16 year old daughter accused him as a Child Molester. She reported to police that her father sexually molested her. Hearing the news, Phan nearly fainted out. Having no choice, he had to wait for about 4 hours for his wife to complete some procedure to bail him out. Phan was temporarily released waiting for a trial at court.

Mr. Phan’s case, if happened in Oklahoma and if there is enough proof, as stated in Amendment Law, number 12, article 2414, about Child Molestation Offense, will be sentenced from 3 years to the maximum of 20 years. If the victim is under 12 years old, the suspect will be sentenced to at least 25 years. (Notice: those penalties only apply for the suspect who is 3 years older than the victim.)

If the criminal committed the second offense, his sentence will not be reduced although he has good behavior in jail. Moreover, his sentence will be executed immediately without any delay. If it is the third strike, the felon will receive Life Term without parole.

After 32 continuous years serving in U.S. Judiciary Branch, and 18 years working as a Chaplain for local and federal detaining centers, I have witnessed and counseled many prisoners who committed child molestation. Among them, there were a several cases related with Vietnamese people, besides Mr. Phan’s, as told above.

1. A man accidentally touched a little girl who was his daughter’s classmate in elementary school. The defendant received a 10 years suspended sentence. He had to attend a special psychological class in several months. Besides, he was not allowed to live near pre- schools, elementary schools, child day care centers, and apartments where children lived, but in areas where Probation Officer appointed for him.
2. A man was sentenced in jail because he raped his own daughter. This case was a complex one. Really, I did not know the true story of this case because whenever I visited the criminal, he always cried terribly or listened to my advice without saying anything.

For a conclusion, child molestation crime is very rare among Vietnamese people. It happened because of the confusion of newcomers. As in the first story, Mrs. Phan confirmed that her husband was a very good father but had temper tantrum. Their older daughter was very angry with his temper. When her father did not allow her to go with her boyfriend late at night, she got mad and told lies to her teacher who then called police to arrest her father. At court, his lawyer explained that Mr. Phan, due to his ignorant about American culture, had done something wrong. However, the judge did not agree with this explanation. He concluded that Mr. Phan’s family had been living in America for over 7 years, Mr. Phan should know well about American culture already. Therefore, although Mr. Phan’s wife was the only witness and ready to advocate for her husband as a very good man and never did any bad thing to anyone, the Court refused to take her stand, because she had close relationship with Mr. Phan. Her advocacy would be of no use to help her husband.

There was another story related with the relationship between a father and his child.

A year ago, Mr. Gin has a daughter who was in 12th grade and would graduate soon. She had an African- American boyfriend. Mr. Gin did not like it. Whenever Mr. Gin suspected her going together with her boyfriend, he yelled at her loudly. During that time, Mr. Gin had a hobby that was to play cards at home with his close friends all weekends. This was just a friendly game. No matter whoever won, they had to chip in few dollars for a late dinner.

Then one night, while they were playing cards happily, there was a knock at the door. Mrs. Gin opened the door and saw four police officers walking pass her to the table on which there was evident of money and cards. All of them including Mrs. Gin were handcuffed and took to police station. An official informed them that Mr. Gin was accused of three counts:

1. Illegally setting card games playing at home
2. Providing means for card games player
3. Illegally playing card games

Mrs. Gin was accused as an accomplice. The others were accused of illegal gambling only. All of them were detained at a temporary jail then released the next day after they posted bails waiting for a trial at court.

Time passed on. Seeing her mother sad, one day, Gin’s daughter felt remorse. She told her mother that she was the one who reported to police about her father playing cards at home. The reason that made her do that was her father was a hot-tempered man who scorned her loudly just because she went along with her boyfriend. Her father, once, threatened her that he would kick her out of her home.

Of course, Mrs. Gin never leaked that secret to her husband. She knew that Mr. Gin was an old-fashioned guy who still strictly kept old-fashion parenting way as it always had been before 1975. Mrs. Gin also realized that everything had to be changed after they moved to America. Whoever did not want to adapt with new life here would get problems all of the time. The most important thing that new- arrivals needed to notice was how to raise children in American ways. If they can adapt to new traditions and culture, all of newcomers will live happily together forever.

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