A BOOK ON U.S. APPLICABLE LAW
Deacon San Nguyen
DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE
First Story: Mr. and Mrs. Quyen
Most people in a Vietnamese Catholic Congregation in Oklahoma, the state that had a great number of Vietnamese refugees residing, believed that Mr. and Mrs. Quyen were the happiest couple who devoted themselves to the Church passionately. Both never missed any Sunday Mass or any important event of the Church. Whenever the Pastor of Members of the Congregation needed them to do something, they performed it immediately without hesitation.
Right at the time knowing that Mr. Quyen was going to Vietnam for about 3 weeks to visit his mother, the Pastor asked Mrs. Quyen come to his office as soon as possible. Seeing Mrs. Quyen, the Pastor advised her:
“I know that your husband is going back Vietnam without your accompany. Because I love both of you sincerely, I need to advise you that “Never let him go alone”. Many men who were at the same age as his, came back Vietnam and were trapped by some girls. Of course, not all of the people coming back their country were trapped. People had different objects and different opinions. We could not put all of them in the same basket. However, people had a saying: “We cannot differentiate a brave man and a coward unless they stand in front of a tiger’s den.” We better not try doing that. If we really like to do so, you better ask some friends to go with him! Do not let him do it alone! You see: in our congregation, many happy couples broke their marriage just because the husbands went to Vietnam alone. Men usually left their hearts for some young girls in their old country. Coming back U.S.A, they dreamed of their pretty girl friends there. Wives, knowing that their husbands did not love them anymore, had no choice besides leaving the husband in tears.
Mrs. Quyen thanked to the Pastor and said:
“Father, I sincerely thank you for your advice. However, I would like to tell you that my husband is not that type. As my idea, whoever has habits to commit adultery will do that no matter what. He may find some girls for himself regardless he is at his wife’s side or not. I trust my husband. He is a good guy, a good husband, and a good father. Therefore, I do not need to follow him. I want him to have more time beside his mother. Furthermore, if I stay here, I will save some money, too. On the other hand, if I go with him, I must ask my mother to take care of my 2 children. So, I decide not to go.”
Exactly like what the Pastor had said: Things went well for few months after Mr. Quyen back to USA. Then one day, Mrs. Quyen found out that Mr. Quyen had a private mail box at the Post Office. Mrs. Quyen accidentally found a letter in her husband’s pocket. The letter wrote by a girl in Vietnam:
“My dearest love! I am happy to let you know that I am pregnant. Yesterday, my doctor told me that I will give birth to a son. You had achieved what you like! You told me that you need to have a son who will be a real second generation of Tran’s family. Now, you only have two daughters. As you said, your wife could not conceive any more…”
Mrs. Quyen could not read anymore. She fell down on the floor, her heart nearly stopped. She was unable to stand up. Now, remembering what the Pastor advised her, Mrs. Quyen felt regretful. It was too late. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa! That was my fault.
Mrs. Quyen had let her husband standing in front of a tiger’s den. Indeed, he was not dead, but her. Things happened like what the Pastor already advised her. It was too late to realize the truth.
Second Story: Buying Sex With a Minor
After 25 years leaving Vietnam, Mr. C., a middle age man came back his country to visit his close friends as well as to enjoy special food at home. Indeed, he was looking for a girl of his life, a young and pretty one. Through a recommendation of a neighbor, he made friend with a beautiful young girl. After few hours talking, they made appointment for a date at a 3-star hotel at the same night.
Then, when the couple just started their affair, there was a knock on the door. The man walked to the door while the girl covered herself with a blanket. A police came in. He accused the man as having sex with a prostitute. The police gave the man a piece of paper and requested the man to sign. The man reluctantly signed then gave the police $100.00.
The police took the $100.00 bill and requested the man to give him at least $400.00 more. If not, the police would take the man in jail. Realizing the situation that might be worse if another police walked in, the man hurried to pay the police $400.00 then ran out of the room. He knew that his permanent resident status in USA might be in big problems if INS found out about this affair.
Therefore, he had rather loose some money than to loose his residence status in America. This is a very expensive souvenir that he had to buy.
Now, before telling you the end of this story, I would like to compare some interesting issues relating to this story with the U.S. Law as below:
- The first story: If Mr. Quyen’s girl friend was pregnant, then gave birth to this child, Mr. Quyen might order a DNA test to be sure that the child was his. In case the child was his son, Mr. Quyen had to support the child until the child became an adult. USA and Vietnam now had a limited relationship and they respected each other laws.
- About adultery: Although it was committed oversea, if there was enough proof showing that the man had an out-of-wedlock child after he married, his wife would have a judgment in favor of her. She would have the rights to raise all teenagers, and have child support and alimony. Their property would be divided in favor of the wife, too. USA did not fine any man who committed adultery.
- When a child out-of-wedlock grew up, the father could sponsor the child to live in USA with him.
- About the second story: If Mr. C, as a permanent resident of US, was arrested because he had sex with a under age girl, he could not return to USA. The Department of States would deny his reentry permit. If he could come back to USA, especially in Oklahoma, he would be in jail, maximum 10 years. Moreover, he had to pay $5,000.00 fine. After that, he had no chance to be naturalized, or he might have to wait for a very long time.
Practically, both stories happened like this:
The first story: Before filing a divorce, Mrs. Quyen asked a friend of hers in Vietnam to see whether the girl was pregnant with Mr. Quyen or not. If she was pregnant, Mrs. Quyen would order a DNA test for her to see if the child was Mr. Quyen’s. Few weeks later, Mrs. Quyen’s friend reported to her that the girl was a prostitute in a bar and was not pregnant. Knowing that, Mrs. Quyen forfeited her intention that was to divorce her husband. She forgave him because she believed that her husband was trapped by a bad girl in Vietnam. Besides, he was so unwise that he did not know how to cover his track. Mrs. Quyen considered his crime as a cheap sex act on his way. It was no big deal after all.
The second story: The next day, when visiting a big supermarket, Mr. C. saw his “girl friend” and the “police” walking hand in hand in there. Right at the moment seeing Mr. C., they walked away. Few days later, the neighbor who recommended the girl to Mr. C. told him that the “police” was a fake one. That guy was a jobless man. Both of them played game with Mr. C. with the purpose to steal his money. Realizing the situation, Mr. C. felt happy very much. Had the bad guy asked Mr. C. to give him $1,000.00, Mr. C. found no reason to refuse it. He still kept another $500 in his boxer. Mr. C. thought that if the bad guy called a real police in, he would be in big problem: Having sex with a teenager! Mr. C. admitted that this was an expensive experience that he had to learn. Next time, if he came back Vietnam again, he would enjoy only good food from his country and never touch any pretty flower that could say the words: “I love you.”
