A BOOK ON U.S. APPLICABLE LAW
Deacon San Nguyen
GRASPING TWO BUNCHES OF FLOWERS WITH BOTH HANDS
As you know, in daily life, many complex events happen and cause a great deal of sadness and frustration to someone. The unlucky person must carry a burden of regrets until the end of his or her time. However, the cause of the sadness does not only come from the destiny as people usually think, but also from the optimistic opinion of some people who always believes in his or her talent. A number of good-hearted people, when trying to help somebody, get unexpected results. Few people become victims of themselves. Doing a favor may get hurt. Doing charity may get jail.
By the way, on the occasion of celebrating Easter when people all over the world worship the Resurrection of God, I tell you a sad story about a woman with good heart had become a victim of herself. She did not seek any advice from anyone, just making decision by herself then get hurt seriously.
Mrs. Thu visited my office and asked me to solve her problem as follow:
About a year ago, her step-sister, 5 years younger than her, in Vietnam, solicited her to take her to America.
Her step-sister, Ann, lived alone at home. Her parents all passed away. Every night, Ann phoned to her and repeated her wish that was to live in America. Ann agreed to take whoever wanted to marry her, no matter what they were old or young. She did not like to be sponsored by her siblings because it would take at least 10 years to go. Ann knew that if she was sponsored by a fiancée of spouse, she would come to USA sooner.
With her love to her step-sister, Thu tried to persuade some of old men whom she knew to marry her sister. Then, she found two Black Americans and two Vietnamese seniors who agreed to make false marriage certificate for money.
Nevertheless, there were some problems with them. Some guys wanted money first, others were in serious illness. The guys who agreed to do it for money just requested to pay in advance. The problem was she almost ran out of money in her bank. Then, a bright idea came to her mind. She could help her sister to arrive legally in this country without spending any penny.
One night, after she tucked her 3 young children, 12, 8, and 4 in beds, she asked her husband to do a favor for her sister by following a plan as follow: First, her husband and she would make a fake divorce, then after 6 months, her husband would sponsor her sister to migrate to America as his fiancée. When her sister arrived, her husband married her sister and waited for 2 years for her sister stayed here legally. After that, her husband and she would remarry again. Thu solicited her husband for doing this scheme due to their belief in God. Thu read God’s words to her husband: “Thy must love each other!”
At first, her husband angrily denied her ideas. He said that if they did, they might get into problems with American Law. They might be in jail. When they were in jail, their children would be separated from them. The children would be orphans forever! Her husband also mocked her that she needed to see a psychiatrist because for 2 continuous years, she had been trying to help her sister arriving in the States in vain.
However, after few days convincing her husband, Thu had accomplished her wish: her husband agreed to do that. She advocated him that nobody would know their scheme except the three of them.
Two months later, they received the divorce papers. Then, Thu stayed at home with their three children so that her husband could come back Vietnam to process the paperwork for her sister to fly to America. She was happy when seeing some pictures of her husband and her sister side by side in Vietnam. The pictures would be submitted to INS as proof of their marriage. About 8 months later, her sister in Vietnam phoned to Thu and happily said that an interview had been a success. Her sister would see her very soon.
Being worried about the long flight from Vietnam to America, Thu urged her husband once again, come back to Vietnam to escort her sister to America. Then, the day had come. Thu and her three children drove to the airport and anxiously waited for her sister and her husband to return.
In spite of that, when the last passenger stepped out of the plane, her husband and sister was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, Thu felt that something wrong here. She asked the plane attendant to look for the couple. The attendant told her that the couple did not show up at Vietnam Airport although their names were on the list. Thu emotionally called her husband through her cell phone. No answer! Now, she understood everything. Thu has brought a mouse to the hungry cat. Being unable to stand up, she fell on her knees and cried loudly at the airport. Then, an empty night passed by. She could not sleep and sobbed until her eyes became red like blood. Thu realized things happened clearly. Just because she was over-confidant in herself and did not seek any advice from anyone, she made a big mistake that could not be corrected. Now, she felt very angry with her malice sister who ungratefully took her husband from her. Her anger rose up so high that she almost fainted down several times.
Time passed by. Gradually, Thu was calm again. She poured her sadness into God’s will. She believed that was the intention of God. Thu remembered what her husband told her when she first solicited her husband for doing this plan. He advised her that there were many other plans to help others, not only her plan that was to push her husband into the arms of her sister. Her husband once told her that she needed to see a psychiatrist! It was too late for her to understand everything.
A week later, she received a letter from her husband. In his letter, her husband apologized for his mistake. He wrote that he made her sister pregnant right at the first time he came back Vietnam. Because of his mistake, he could not come back to his home and was not worthy to be her husband anymore. Her husband insisted her to take care of their children with the money he left for her to spend at least another year. Also, he promised that immediately after he had job, he would send money to her without delay.
After reading this letter, Thu felt angry and wanted to revenge her sister. She would like to find some reason to take her sister back to Vietnam to live in misery like she was before. Thu told me that she was willing to take risk as being in jail for committing a fake divorce, a fake marriage.
To answer her request, I explained for her understand two things:
First of all, I reminded her that if she believed in God, she should know that everything happened in this world belonged to God’s intention. However, in this case, besides God, she was the key person who created the chaos. She was over-confidant with herself. She never sought any advice from anybody. Thu now was so angry. She reacted exactly like other women who were betrayed by their husbands. Thu wanted a revenge.
Nonetheless, I just liked to ask Thu some questions: Who planned the fake divorce? Who persuaded her husband to process the fake divorce? Who asked her husband to come back Vietnam for the processing of paperwork the first time? Who asked her husband to come back Vietnam the second time?
Looking at the picture of her husband and her sister, I pointed out a very important thing: Thu made big mistake when she pushed her husband to play “husband and wife game” with a very sexy girl. Thu did not notice that her sister had huge breasts that were very attractive to all men, not only to her husband. I thought that Thu had played a very dangerous game. Her husband was not “the man who grasped two bunches of beautiful flowers with both hands!” He was just a victim of her game! When he was far away from home and was alone with a real beautiful Venus, he should do what he could do. Thu had it coming at her. Besides, her sister was another cause for her husband’s mistake. She just acted like Miss Eve in the Bible. Her husband was like Mr. Adam. He could not be blamed! Now, in case Thu did something wrong, her innocent children had to be taken care by Social Services Agency. That was too bad for them.
Secondly, I explained to her about legal stuff.
If Thu visited INS to report the fake marriage, nobody would consider it as a case to be resolved: Her husband had fulfilled all legal paperwork: divorce paper, sponsorship, pictures of the couple in Vietnam… Everything showed that the marriage was legal even though the wife was her sister! There was nothing wrong with marrying ex-wife’s sister!
Furthermore, the sponsorship proceeded by her husband was legal and accepted by INS; an interview had been made by US Embassy or Consulate. Her sister could legally stay in this country. Her sister could only be deported by three reasons:
- Her husband refused to marry her after she arrived in USA.
- Her sister refused to sleep with her husband during the first two years.
- The marriage was an illegal business. Her sister paid some middle man to be a husband then never lived with the man as husband and wife. In this case, the fake husband will be in jail and be financially fined.
Thu’s case was not among those above cases. There was nothing wrong with this marriage. Thu was the person “who brought snake into her house to swallow her chicks.”
To have a conclusion, I would like to say one thing that my high school teacher, a respectful Priest, usually told me: “The idea of Vengeance will destroy your soul if you keep it in your mind for long. Only “forgive and forget” will help you healthy in both body and spirit until the end of your time.
